So, new to the ‘hood, are you?  Welcome.  It’s a mixed-metaphor neighborhood, wrapped in a walking and biking and bussing contradiction, partly-fact and partly fiction, as somebody said.  First, it’s part of the notorious East Side, rumored to be able get up a support group at the drop of a cause.  And that’s pretty true—but that’s good news. 

 

Who wants to live in a gripey, mopey place where everything is wrong and nothing is done about it?  Lest I sound like too much of a cheerleader,  let me agree that there are plenty of problems to be remedied.  Let me list the ones that get my undies in a bundle:

 

1)    TRAFFIC –too much and too fast.  (20,000 cars a day on E. Gorham alone)  I frequently try to garden the tiny terrace out front and when I let it all hang out (and there’s increasingly more all to hang, I regret to say) I have taken to putting out an orange construction cone so that my posterior does not end up plastered on the front of the E-line bus.  (But the upside to this backside problem is that we do have excellent bus service.)

 

2)    PARKING POACHERS—lately I’ve noticed that a few people park their cars in our neighborhood, haul out bikes, and take off.  Eight hours later, they haul back up Johnson, hop in their cars, and off they go to Fitch-Rona or wherever they actually live.  One woman bugs me especially, since previously-mentioned busses actually set off her car alarm from the vibration—meaning about every fifteen minutes in the morning, we get to listen to it make like the Queen Mary till it times out.  We’ve now left a note, but she’s apparently illiterate.  (The upside to this is that we don’t pay a fee for neighborhood parking yet, so I’m not sure there’s a solution.  And, hey, at least people are getting on board the “Mer’s” physical fitness program.)

 

3)    STRAY CRITTERS AND PETS—Cats and dogs belong on leashes while being walked.  Cats murder songbirds when left to wander—they live much shorter and more miserable lives outside.  Dangerous breeds (or those bred mostly to be irascible and with monster jaw capacity, don’t belong in the city) but usually the problem is owners who treat them like loaded weapons.  And for heaven’s sake, people, it’s ILLEGAL to run and poop your dogs in the parks—there are dog parks specifically set aside for that.  My housemate Ken and I were paddling in from fishing one early Sunday on Lake Mendota and the smell wafting out of Giddings was pure digested Purina, if you get my drift.  I like most cats and some dogs, but let’s not inflict them on our neighbors, shall we?

 

4)    ABSENTEEISM—You know who you are, but you are probably not reading this, since you don’t live next to your cash cow property.  Hey,  we own property too, and the repairs and taxes on these old buildings rise faster than the corn did this year.  But it’s easier to ignore tenants’ needs if you are protected by several layers of management firms and post office boxes.  Tenants can insist on knowing and maybe even meeting the folks who own the place.  Landlords can screen and make an effort to extend a hand to new tenants—for the safety of all of us.  A building, especially the old buildings around here, have souls, I believe.  It is a crime against them to not respect them in the same way you would your great aunt.  Give her a new hat once in awhile—and help her keep the petticoats from hanging down from beneath her porch.  Tenants can do plenty to act as if they have pride in their homes too.  Like putting trash out properly and keeping trashy plaid couches (who MAKES those danged things anyhow, or do they GROW on curbs?)  inside the place.  When some property changes hands  (not to mention any names) the first thing the new owner does to leave his mark is take down all or nearly all vegetation.  A gaggle of young men with chain saws is a bad combination.  Repeat after me:  “Trees are the lungs of the planet.  Trees are the lungs of the planet.”  Not to mention the chickadees, who now have no place to rest.

 

5)    PUBLIC NUISANCES AND NOISE-MAKERS:  Don’t write on my house or business or sidewalk or bus shelter and I won’t call the cops.  How’s that for a deal?

 

THE GOOD NEWS:

 

I lowered my blood pressure…..Nah, just kidding, though I do get a kick out of that ad.  And I did lower my blood pressure because Mayor Dave asked me to kick start my exercise program.  Actually,  Ken and I (and Alex to some extent) have become pretty avid bicyclists.  We love the Community Garden path leading out toward Olbrich in particular.  Check out the Thai Palace at the Botanical Gardens—it’s a little golden gem.

 

Evening strolling and even porch sitting seems to me to be on the rise here too.  We have houses in the neighborhood—some still single-family—where presidents have stayed while they fished.  Some neighborhoods are so kid-wealthy that they still play outside (grownups and kids) late into the gloaming—in that honey-colored September evening air.  And our schools—Lapham, Marquette, O’Keeffe, East—are filled with excellent and caring teachers and parents.

 

 WE have businesses too—a few more every day it seems.  Some are niche markets, like Burnie’s Rock Shop and the Jade Mountain Bead place, both on East Johnson, and increasingly, little cafes and art shops and galleries.  WE were mixed-use before mixed-use meant HIGH RISE.  WE ARE DIVERSE in every which way—old, young, middle income, higher, ethnically, attitudinally –my family even knows some conservatives! 

 

And, of course, we have churches and other religious places of worship.   I’m not one who believes in nostalgia for its own sake, but when you have things that work and ain’t broken, or that used to work just fine and kind of got lost, I think you should find the good and praise it. 

 

At the risk of turning into a kind of greeting card type writer,  I will say that the Tenney-Lapham Neighborhood is worth keeping and reviving.

 

 All it needs, in my opinion, is a few more chicken ranches….

- Gay Davidson-Zielske, Outgoing (in every sense of the word) Social Chair

 

 

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