One sunny day in November
(and weren’t they all this year?) I betook myself to O’Keefe Middle School to
help one of the teachers there teach a habit I can’t seem to break myself—the
making of poetry. And because I
believe the soul of poetry is inspiration and “making it new,” every soul needs
a body to move it about the earth, so I taught the kids how to discover a
metaphor.
I had them close their eyes
and envision a person each of them likes a lot—though not necessary
romantically. Like college-age
students, on whom I try this exercise all the time, they squirmed and did a little eye-rolling. As expected, when I asked them to open
their peepers and write down the first thing that came to mind in response to a
series of increasingly weird “prompts,” they were properly bored and a little
reluctant. “What if your person
were a piece of fruit?” I queried and braced myself. Nervous titters, but then some scritching of pencils. “What if your friend awoke one morning
and discovered that she or he had sprouted a tail?” I pursued them to describe that tail. And each one found at least one
genuine metaphor—a glowing, unexpected, made- me- want- to- cry- or- just-
clicked- like- a- well-made- box metaphor. Some were already so accomplished that they whole poem
hung together—though I told them neither that, nor rhyme, nor rhythm was
something to force. The
results are below. I loved every
single one of these and feel honored to have helped birth them.
- Gay
Davidson-Zielske
“ME” by Annie
Benford
Sometimes a mountain—strong and sturdy
And happiest when rain falls and she has no
umbrella.
She’s a soft, warm sweater,
new but
Never losing her touch.
She is an apple, the same old
fruit but
Always a different taste.
If she were a metal object, she’d be
A locket, enclosed and safe,
but able to open
So you see the faces you like
best.
If she awoke and found she’d
grown a tail,
It would be a jaguar tail,
black and sleek,
For prowling the jungle and
finding great
Discoveries.
The following lines represent
some of the finest images taken from poems by several students:
“MOM” by Anna
…she can cuddle you up like a
small
cabin with a fire on a
cold winter day. Sweeter
than a strawberry. A dream
to cure cancer and AIDS…
She would ride on her bike
For days to accomplish it.
Dani is like an ocean, always
changing
Waves, and its beautiful
colored fish
And its singing whales, giggling dolphins.
“SHE’S” by Alex
Z.
She’s like an ocean—ever—vast
And forever. She’s like a
Kiwi, sweet and nice.
Old-fashioned, but always
happy.
No one in the world can
compare
To her. She’s the great shield,
The teacher, the mother bird.
“METAPHOR” by Amy
…a summer sundress.
Light and free…the
Flower would be a daisy,
Simple, but just perfect.
“ME” by Kazo Vang
Me can be a bird
sometimes—chirping all day,
But knowing when to stop when
her wind kicks in.
“BEANIE” by Mehla Goodrich
Mangoes were his bright
yellow cheeks
Beanie was a bright blue,
sunfilled, spring day.
“MOM” by Lewis O.
She is purple clouds glowing
On the shallow sunset…
In her dreams she rides a PT
Cruiser
With her brief case, which is
full of $$$’s of
Thousands of $100 bills…
“DAD” by Alex E.
We’re in a race;
Instead of running it,
He walks and collects plants
Along the way. He’s kind of like
An ORV, but he has respect
for the land.
He’s never inside when he
could be out,
Could never be coaxed into a
cubicle job.
He teaches about plants, and
birds,
To whoever will listen.
I’d laugh if he said, “I love
the TV.”
A house to him is like a
cage.
He’s an outdoor guy.
(I helped Claire arrange her
poem into two haiku-like poems)
‘BROTHER” by Claire
He’s a sweet, (sometimes
sour)
Orange that squirts
Little pains into your eye.
A snow-covered
Mountain, just waiting
For a sound
To make it crumble.
“UNTITLED” by Billy Mcloy
…a juggler with a lemon
bitter face
waits for Halloween…and world
history to drop.
…thinking of his friend who
says, “I ain’t ever happy,”
but always with a smile on
his face.
“METAPHOR POEM” by Jessica
(I helped Jessica distill
this gem also—Gay)
Wild and free,
You love to take risks,
You are like a lion,
My little brother.
“Don’t
Laugh!” by Jordan Herman
…he can also be a bulb-
shying away from spring,
unless you give him proper
care and
he could turn into a lovely
daffodil.
“POEM” by Jo-Jo
Some days she is like a
reinforced steel door,
Hard to open without the
code.
“MY GRANDMA” by
Harrison Holtzman-Knott
…fun as mid-day…always
bringing sunny conversations…
soft wool as a sweater, but
can be reasonably scratchy.
My grandma is a classic car,
steadily moving through life.
Black as night or white as
the moon….if she were a color
Of the rainbow, it would be
red, like the color of her curly hair.
“UNTITLED” by Caleb Crossley
…he is a sponge who sucks up
all the knowledge that comes his way…
…he seems out of control
sometimes, but most times he rides
smoothly and in control…he
would never be…a burger flipper.
“MYSELF” by Isaac May
I’m a Friday afternoon—ready
to go…
I would be a lizard—quiet,
quick,
And stealthy, always ready to
go.
I am a Ferrari, fast and
sporty.
“ME” by Lloyd Cosme
I am a shallow ocean …
I am quick, like J-J the Jet
Plane
And …slick and intelligent.
“ODE TO A FRIEND” by ?
….if you discover a machine
that does homework,
let her know….
“BRYCE” by Bryce
He is like a mountain,
Singing in the breeze.
He is a night person, the
night man.
“UNTITLED” by Brittney
…in the sunny time, we ride
horses.
We both wake up and have
horse tails.
She is a mean Ompah
Lumpah…dreams of owning horses.
“UNTITLED” by Georgia
My brother is a little knoll,
A peach,
The sunrise on the brink of
understanding.
His mostly sunny attitude,
Brings everyone around him
joy.
He is a pair of shoes,
That want to build a robot.
And just by him saying,
“Guess what?”
You’d think that he was 12.
“POEM-FREE VERSE” by Leah
J.
…a fire-engine red sports car
wishing to drive wild.
…she’s much stronger than me
letting everything happen
natural.
She’s a dreamer, with a
cottonhead.
“ODE TO DAD” by Vinnie
He likes the color orange
Bright and determined. He’s
A pair of old jeans, tough
and strong.
“ALEX ZIELSKE” by Josh
Once you surpass him in
anything
You look down and notice how
far
You have gotten. Like a rainstorm,
He can change in the blink of
an eye.
Such great knowledge and
talent,
It would be a shame if he
worked
At McDonald’s.
“SPECIAL FRIEND” by Arielle
…the smell of this island
would be
coconuts and wildflowers…
Would you like to know who
My island is? Maybe next time…
“UNTITLED” by Abby
She is wild; she is a jungle
She rises in the darkness of
the night.
The brightness is the sun in
her.
If she had to pick a time, it
would be now.
“UNTITLED” by Anna Hudek
She wants to shout out “stop
controlling me.”
But at the same time, she is
the evening,
Calm and understanding. She is the year 2001, hip and spunky.
“METAPHOR” by Bubba
She is a hilly area, smooth
But sometimes rough.
If she woke up one day with a
tail,
It would be a lion’s, smooth
but rough,
Orange, bright, and fiery.