As parents we give our children sexuality information through a couple of different ways. The first way we give information is by modeling our attitudes and beliefs. Modeling is when children unintentionally discover our attitudes and beliefs through observing us interact with others. Preschoolers are primarily dependent upon their parent(s) for having their needs met and as a result parents become the first and foremost teachers of family attitudes and values including sexuality information. Our family attitudes and beliefs are influenced by many factors including culture and life experiences. Life experiences can include events such as childhood abuse or being raised in a single parent family.

The second way we give children sexuality information is by making a choice to thoughtfully and purposefully do so. Making this choice is the beginning of sexual abuse prevention and includes learning about what we know today as, "normal" sexual development.

Knowledge of "normal" sexual development, helps prepare parents for behaviors that are a part of every child's growth and maturation. Knowing what to expect at a given age helps parents recognize behaviors that are outside of the norm or that could be indicators of problems. The following ages and behaviors are a guide to "normal" sexual development:

AGES 0-3 YEARS

Babies are extremely sensitive to touch, learn early on about the pleasure of touching their genitals and will explore their genitals through touch.

It is common for toddlers to masturbate during nap time.

Parents and significant others teach infants attitudes toward genital play.

Parents encourage either male or female identity.

Toddlers show interest in different postures of boys and girls when urinating and are interested in the physical differences between sexes.

AGES 3-5 YEARS

By age 3 most preschoolers learn that genital play or masturbation in front of others is likely to get a negative reaction.

Pre-schoolers are very interested in bathroom activities of others. Talk occurs about elimination, such as, "you old bowel movement."

Children verbally express interest in different postures by asking questions about urinating.

Toddlers are intensely curious of the world and will take advantage of opportunities to look at others bodies.

If they are not intimidated, toddlers will take advantage of opportunities to touch other's bodies.

Sex play of preschoolers increases to include undressing in front of play mates and genital fondling or playing games of "show".

The family continues to reinforce male or female identity and children begin to develop attitudes towards the same and opposite sex.

Preschoolers are conscious of the navel or "belly button". When under social stress, boys in particular may grasp their genitals and may need to urinate.

Children of this age primarily play in same sex groups and are interested in playing marriage.

AGES 5-7 YEARS

By this age gender identity is fixed.

Masturbation continues but is more discreet and secret.

Children begin to show modesty and may verbally express the need for privacy while bathing, dressing and undressing.

School aged children create opportunities to look at other's bodies, hiding and peeking.

Mutual touching and exploration can occur with same age peers and consists of rubbing and stroking.

Children engage in games of exposing and comparing genitals in order to gain knowledge.

Children between the ages of 5 and 7 have a clearer awareness and understanding of differences between female and male body structure and are able to discriminate between gender on the basis of genitals.

Children of this age can feel self conscious about asking questions about sexual matters, therefore it is important for parent(s) to continue talking about sexuality, values and sexual information.